Workplace Bullying
We say that a boundary is not set until the other person hears, understands and respects it.
Workplace Bullying
Bullying takes many forms, but two, in particular, stand out.
Workplace Bullying Type One
This sort of workplace bullying is when someone is genuinely having a go at you.
They single you out for abuse, they intimidate you and they have a complete disregard for your feelings.
This type of person gets their kicks from kicking others, and to them, unassertive behaviour is like a red rag to a bull.
If you don’t stand up to bullying, then they’ll just bully you even more.
Rules and Procedures
And, rightly, there are rules, procedures, tribunals, and systems in place to help protect us from bullies.
But is being assertive the only way?
If this is the sort of bullying you are suffering, don’t hesitate to go directly to your HR Manager, Union Representative, or whoever represents you in your place of work.
Workplace Bullying makes work one of the most unpleasant and anxiety-ridden experiences around.
Who wants to keep going back to a place where you’re the one chosen for target practice?
That’s one kind of bullying.
Workplace Bullying Type Two
The other common type of bullying in the workplace is when you think you’re being bullied because people are taking advantage of you.
However, it is quite possible they’re taking advantage of you because you haven’t done anything to let them know it bothers you!
Letting bullies know the effect their behaviour has on you is called boundary setting.
Boundary Setting
We set boundaries to let other people know how we want to be treated and it is important to recognise that boundaries are set for other people.
We say that a boundary is not set until the other person hears, understands, and respects it.
Weak boundary-setting usually takes place in our heads, rather than to the person who needs to hear it.
Or, even if we do find the courage, we say it in such a way that it hasn’t been heard.
If you find yourself saying
“I’ve told them dozens of times, they just don’t listen”
then it’s likely that you are setting weak boundaries.
But whether workplace bullying is the first kind or the second, the result is the same.
Neither version is pleasant and both make life a misery.
Workplace bullying is an example of behaviour that impedes honest and effective collaboration within a group. It can be a manifestation of one of the psychological barriers to communication that everyone should be familiar with.
Listen to – Comedian David Mitchel Talking to Jo Ellen Grzyb about Assertiveness
Read – Benefits of Being Assertive
Workplace Bullying
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One-to-One Assertiveness Skills Training
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