How To Be Assertive Not Aggressive
Sometimes by showing our assertiveness we end up coming across as rude, aggressive or downright belligerent!
How To Be Assertive Not Aggressive – The Secret To Avoiding Getting Angry
Sometimes, our efforts to show our assertiveness cross the line and we end up coming across as rude, aggressive or downright belligerent.
No matter what type of business we are involved in, our success is in part determined by how well we deal with people.
We need to present ourselves as confident, decisive and assertive.
Let’s Not Overdo It
Sometimes, however, in our efforts to show our assertiveness, we cross the line.
We end up coming across as rude, aggressive or downright belligerent.
Let’s clarify the major distinctions.
Assertive vs. Aggressive
In any situation where your rights or space are being violated, there are generally three options available to you.
You can:
- Be submissive, say nothing, and fume in silence.
- Be aggressive and hostile, which will probably just fuel the fire.
- Calmly and politely assert your interests.
Just Stop It
Sometimes when we feel compelled to speak up, we can easily lose sight of the fact that we just want to stop the offensive behaviour, period.
Think assertive, not aggressive
We do not need to humiliate the other person, nor do we need to humiliate ourselves by overreacting.
This person may not even be aware of any wrongdoing.
In any event, explosive, self-righteous behaviour is never a good first line of defence.
Confident People
Confident people have no need or desire to belittle others.
Assertiveness does not seek to humiliate or purposely embarrass anyone.
The other party may well end up feeling a little embarrassed, but it won’t be laced with anger at you.
It’s amazing how cooperative people can become when treated with respect.
And it is equally amazing how swiftly and surely they will become uncooperative if they are being attacked in any way, even with a subtle gesture or an exasperated tone of voice.
Be Kind
Humans always respond more favourably to kindness.
There’s an old saying, maybe a little corny, but it still holds true:
“You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.”
This bit of common knowledge may not be as common as we think.
Think assertive, not aggressive
Next time a situation arises, remember that you can choose to assert your interests calmly and politely without becoming angry or abusive.
Good Feelings
Your kindness will likely be returned, and even if it’s not, your own sense of personal mastery and self-esteem will rise a notch.
You’ll find such good feelings to be habit-forming.
Now there’s a habit worth having.
This article was contributed by Rosella Aranda
Listen to – Comedian David Mitchel Talking to Jo Ellen Grzyb about Assertiveness
Find the – Benefits of Being Assertive
Read – Assertive Communication – 5 Tips For Effective Use
Assertive Not Aggressive
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