Assertiveness Training – Stand Up For Yourself

Assertiveness Training – Stand Up For Yourself

Do you have a reputation as the “Nice Girl” or “Nice Guy”?

If someone asks you to do something, do you smile and say Yes even if you don’t want to, just because you want the other person to like you?

I know the feeling.

What Movie?

For example, years ago I had a boyfriend who would often ask me what movie I wanted to see.

I’d say, “I don’t care.”

But deep down, I did care.

He’d pick a movie, usually one that I didn’t want to see, but I went along with it anyway.

Miserable Resentment

Then I’d be miserable at the movie and resent him because he didn’t guess what movie I wanted to see.

It was unfair to him.

I realize now I was causing a lot of unnecessary stress because I didn’t stand up for myself.

I was eating excessively, stuffing my feelings down with food instead of expressing them honestly…as it was my privilege to do as a human being.

Express Yourself Assertively

I want to ask you…are you expressing yourself assertively?

Here are three questions to ask to find out:

1. Can you say ‘No’ Without Guilt?

If you are in a position to do so, I want you to say the word, “No” out loud.

Did the world come crashing down around you?

Chances are, it didn’t!

The reason the ability to say no is so important is this: Your time on earth is limited.

You have things to do and only a limited amount of time to do them in.

Start to stand up for yourself. If you are busy saying yes to the wrong things, you will not have time left to say “yes” to the right things.

Say No Without Guilt

Before you can say No without guilt, you have to be clear about the things that are important to you.

For example, self-care is very important.

However, if your schedule is so packed that you haven’t left time for that and doing things that bring you joy, then something is wrong.

You need to look at your day and figure out the things that you need to eliminate to have time for the things you value.

Everyone may not like it, but it’s your life and you deserve to live it in the way that suits you best.

2. Do You Set Boundaries With People?

Ever heard the saying, “Give an inch and some people will take a mile”?

It is so true! You do one thing for certain people out of kindness and they came back to you with a list of 10 more.

Or you loan them money because they said they were in danger of being kicked out of their apartment.

Two months later, they are back…only this time, they need rent money and the car payment too.

Teach Them How to Treat You

Here are some words to live by and I think Dr. Phil said them: We teach people how to treat us.

If someone has treated you in a disrespectful manner and you don’t stand up for yourself, then you have just told that person that it is okay to continue doing it.

If it feels like bullying then you’re probably dealing with someone who is more than just a bit pushy.

You must speak up and tell people when they have crossed the line.

You can do it in private, and do it respectfully but it must be done.

Otherwise, resentment will pile up and probably explode.

A reluctance to speak up can sometimes be related to the seven barriers to communication that affect our ability to express ourselves.

3. Do You State Your Opinions Without Apology?

On this point, I am not talking about being obnoxious.

But don’t say “I don’t know” or “I don’t care” if asked for your opinion when you really do. It’s disrespectful to yourself when you lie like that.

I believe it diminishes your confidence and sends a message to yourself and others that you aren’t important.

Self-Esteem – Stand up for Yourself

It seems like a small thing but it makes a big difference in your self-esteem and the way you manage your weight and health.

Learning just a few easy-to-achieve assertive behaviours will open a new world of benefits of being assertive.

Check Out – 20 Great Assertiveness Tips

Listen to – Comedian David Mitchel Talking to Jo Ellen Grzyb about Assertiveness

Read – Assertive Communication – 5 Tips For Effective Use

This article was contributed by Kimberly Floyd

Stand up for Yourself

Impact Factory runs

One and Two-Day Assertiveness Training Courses

Tailored Assertiveness Training

and personalised

One-to-One Assertiveness Skills Training

for anyone who is interested in

Assertiveness Training and Standing Up For Yourself