Communicate with Impact

5-6 JUNE 2023

Dear All, 

It was a pleasure to work with you during the 5-Day Communicate with Impact training. Thank you for your willingness and enthusiasm to try new tools, and for contributing your ideas and expertise. 

The summary, whiteboards, digital handouts, suggested reading materials, and video links that comprise this post-course resource page, are reminders of what we covered during our time together, and resources that you can use to continue to advance your own personal and professional development. 

Communication – everything communicates 

Human beings are creatures of interpretation, we are hard-wired to make meaning of everything around us. Our communication style is particularly open to interpretation, and everything we do communicates – from our delivery style and choice of language to the time of day our communication lands. 

They say that ‘miscommunication is the norm!’ There can be a gap between how we mean to come across and what the other person actually picks up – who hasn’t had an email misinterpreted? We don’t mean to misinterpret, it is just that we are busy, and we see what we expect to see – confirmation bias. 

Small changes can make a huge difference in communication – consciously dial your behaviour up and down, or choose a first impression to make a small, subtle shift that feels authentic. 

Patterns 

We are habit driven in communication, and it can be easy to think our habits are ‘us’ – ‘It’s the way I am’. 

Our behaviour changes throughout our lives, so it is a natural thing to adapt it. Conscious behavioural change needs practise and can feel a bit odd at the start. 

Think about your patterns in communication and in relationships – which patterns work for you, and which ones don’t? Keep the ones that work, and then actively choose a different behaviour for the ones that don’t. Small changes here are far more manageable than big ones – and are often all you need to send things off on a different track. 

Comfort Zone 

We started with an invitation to step beyond your comfort zone and to enter a zone of stretch. The zone of stretch is where real growth and learning occurs. It is important to stretch and then return to the comfort zone and reflect. Staying in the zone of stretch for too long can lead to panic. The more you stretch, the more your comfort zone expands. 

Managing Nerves 

It is important to remember that although anxiety may feel personal, it is merely a trait of our prehistoric minds. Nerves are perfectly natural. They are a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived threat. They are indicating that you need to do something (i.e., fight or flee). 

You can take care of yourselves by slowing down, taking a PAUSE, moving, taking a sip of water, and breathing (don’t forget the exhale), which will allow you to think more clearly. 

The Qualities of a Good Communicator 

Awareness of your strengths can help boost confidence. Any strength becomes a weakness when it is overdone or used in the wrong context. Having an awareness of your strengths is essential for being able to manage them. 

Communication Dynamics 

It’s not just what you say. Beyond words, there are so many factors that can influence communication: voice, body language, head stuff, context, timing, environment, history, culture, positioning, and technology. By considering all the factors, you can begin to create the impact that you choose (i.e., formal vs. informal seating arrangement, eye contact, PAUSE, and using downward inflection to make key points). We explored the impact of eye contact when communicating remotely. Look to the camera at the start and end of a communication, and when you are delivering important messages. Then, check for feedback from the listener by gazing at the screen. 

Listening 

The quality of your listening has the power to make someone feel valued or not. Real listening makes people feel safe, encourages them to be open, contributes to trust and provides helpful information. It can be very easy to unintentionally ‘turn down’ our listening, which can shut people down, build resentment and break trust. Be aware of the impact of your listening style and level. The speaker will be giving you feedback all the time. Think of the dial. Do you need to turn your listening up or down to have the most positive impact? We’d suggest that it’s normally (though not always) up. “Sometimes people just need a darn good listening to.” 

Personal Stories 

Stories help to build trust and connection with an audience. They engage the audience through emotion and memory. Use the simple storytelling structure to keep your narrative on track: setting the scene, moment of change, struggle (spend time here, as it is the most relatable part), transformation. 

Knowing Your Strengths 

There is often an arc of distortion between how we think we come across and how we are actually perceived. Placing your focus on your strengths can help you to get into the right mindset for presenting. 

Communication Cycle 

We looked at what it takes to see a communication through from being “thought” to “implemented”. The cycle looks like this: 

Thought – Spoken – Heard – Understood – Agreed to – Acted upon – Implemented 

Communication can break down at any point in the cycle, and most people have a ‘favourite’ or usual place where it breaks down. 

Miscommunication is the Norm 

It is inevitable that messages will be misinterpreted, forgotten, or missed altogether. It is the responsibility of the sender to check understanding and follow up with the receiver. When the message is important, picking up the phone, meeting remotely, or even face to face (if possible), will save time in the long run, as both mediums allow for two-way dialogue, and provide the vocal and visual cues that will help alleviate confusion. 

Stepping Into Their Shoes – Old Woman/Young Lady 

We are all pattern-making creatures who see the world through a lens that has been coloured by our own experience. In order to get someone to understand something from our point of view, we must first embrace a sense of curiosity by stepping into their world. Asking questions in order to understand their perspective, will make them less resistant, as they will feel heard, and understood. You will then have the information necessary to be able to frame your point of view in a way that takes into account the way that they see the world. 

Questions 

Use questions strategically to elicit an answer and to check understanding. The quality of the information that we get, is directly related to the type of questions that we ask. Use super open questions like “tell me…, explain…, or describe…”, to get people to be more open. 

Use the ARMED Framework to Construct a Message That Motivates Someone to Complete a Task 

Attention: Choose to engage your audience by starting in an unexpected way, such as using a: question, story, surprising stat or fact, or metaphor. 

Relevance: Overtly state the relevance to the audience and get it in early, to create buy-in from the start. Audiences are always asking themselves “what’s in it for me?”, “why should I care?”. Consider appealing to one of top three motivators: Autonomy, Purpose, Mastery. 

Message: A good communication is a memorable one. If you aren’t clear on your central message, then your audience won’t be either. Cleary refine your core message. Knowing exactly why you are speaking keeps you succinct. It also gives you a hook to come back to if you end up going off-piste. Your message should always be tailored to your audience and if you’re ever stuck, a phrase like: “The most important thing that I would like for you to take away is…”  

Example: Bring your message to life with a real, specific example 

Do: Describe the obvious next steps that you would like for the listener to take. 

Be specific, make it time bound, and easily actionable. 

We explored the differences between delegating by email vs. by phone. A phone call allows two-way communication. 

ARISTOTLE’s 5 Point Plan to Persuade 

Maya Angelou has been quoted as saying, ‘Stories are just data with a soul’. 

It is important to take a listener on an emotional journey. Without variety in tone and emotion, the audience can be lulled into a state of ambivalence. 

This is a structure for creating a story that can change minds, hearts, and souls. Starting with a strong statement to arouse interest, followed by the use of descriptive language and storytelling elements to paint a problem, then providing a solution, the benefits to the solution, and offering a clear next step, is an effective way of getting buy-in to change. 

Emotional Journey 

Emotion drives behaviour. Take your audience on an emotional journey, choose how you want to make them feel at different stages of the presentation. Holding a specific emotion in your head allows the brain to access different language/behaviours, that will have an impact on how the audience is feeling. 

Simplify Complex Ideas 

Simplify big ideas with visuals. Use Google images to search for icons that can be reproduced on paper and adapted to your needs. 

What’s the Point of Feedback? 

We considered the benefits of giving effective constructive criticism to address colleagues’ performance. Giving feedback little and often, to assert yourself, can avoid the resentment that can build, by staying in the nice zone. 

Feedback Structures 

We looked at two feedback structures to hold others accountable, and to motivate others to be solution focussed, and to change their behaviour, without damaging the relationship. 

Light Touch Feedback 

I noticed that…. 

Wouldn’t it be a good idea if… 

So that… 

Delivering Difficult Feedback 

State the behaviour NEUTRALLY and SPECIFICALLY – language should be factual and precise, to make it inarguable. 

Then state the effect of the behaviour on something that the person will care about. 

Now PAUSE 

If they protest, return to the effect and pause until they move to taking responsibility. 

Do not rescue! 

Say Less 

Words are like water; they dilute our message. When delivering a difficult message, we tend to use too many words, and padding language arises, just, maybe, possibly, unfortunately. Our discomfort begins to show, and our language can sound confusing. 

PAUSE 

When you’ve finished speaking, stop talking! Resist the temptation to rescue the other person. Pause in order to send a message to your body that you are calm; and to give the recipient of your message time to digest what you are saying. They might respond in a surprising way, or offer a solution, so that you don’t need to do all of the work. Let the pause do the heavy lifting. 

Positive Recognition 

Light the way. It costs nothing; but its effects are profound. Help people develop a greater awareness of their strengths by noticing things they hadn’t noticed themselves. 

Evidenced feedback is more meaningful and useful – it highlights specific tangible things the other person can then do more of. 

Positive feedback is crucial for full engagement, it develops a greater sense of pride and trust, and invokes reciprocity. People foster positive thoughts and good will, rather than allowing any negative assumptions to grow. It connects people to the business and to each other. It also means you have metaphorical money in the bank when you need to deliver a difficult message. 

Openings & Closings 

Consider the benefits of not using an agenda slide. Rather, use that time to connect with the audience and to possibly ask a question. Abandon summary slides. Again, use that time to create an emotion in the audience. 

Feedback Loop 

The point of being live in front of people is to check whether your content is landing. Remember the aim is not to deliver a flawless broadcast message but instead, to initiate a ‘conversation’ with your audience. You can only check that you are connecting with them through interacting and reading their feedback. Poll the audience by asking for a show of hands. Look for nods, and smiles, and comment when you notice. Feedback will not always be vocal. “Imagine if…” statements will engage their minds. Refer to audience members by name, to keep them involved in the presentation. 

Eye Contact 

When presenting to the group, we occasionally got caught focusing our eye contact on one or two people and not the entire audience. Spread your eye contact evenly to engage the audience. When presenting around a table, the people directly to either side of us are the hardest people to give eye contact to. Don’t forget them. 

Relevance 

State the relevance of the presentation to the audience early on, in order to ensure engagement. 

Working with PowerPoint 

Let the PowerPoint slides work for you, rather than becoming a slave to them. As a presenter, the audience looks to us to direct their focus. The slides are not the presentation. They are intended to be visual aids that are meant to support you as a presenter, and to enhance your audience’s understanding. Use the ‘b’ button to black out the screen when you want to be the focus of attention. Quickly navigate between slides by pressing (slide number + enter). Avoid ‘slideument’ by distributing handouts and documents separately. Create speaker notes for yourself. Interact with slides by gesturing towards key points. 

Owning the Space 

If there is something in your way, move it to suit you. Help the audience navigate the slide by pointing at or touching the slide to direct focus. Take the focus by standing in the ‘hot spot’. Tell the story visually by physically moving from left to right to represent the past, present, and future. 

Effective Slides 

Make sure they are in focus and legible. One idea per slide. Centre images. Create visual metaphors that enhance your content and make it more memorable. Avoid using a slide to welcome an audience or to end a presentation. You will be much more welcoming and memorable than any slide can be. Adopt the 10 20 30 Rule: Max. 10 slides, Max. 20 minutes (before changing the dynamic in some way), Min. 30 font size. 

Flip Chart 

Harness the live aspect of a presentation by creating visual aids in real time, in a low-tech way, on a flip chart or whiteboard. 

Less is More 

Simplicity is the art of sophistication. We attribute a higher level of authority and expertise to people who can express ideas in fewer words with less jargon. 

Presenting Around a Table 

When presenting around a table, we are also in charge of directing the audience’s focus in order to keep their engagement. If we distribute documents to everyone at the table, they might be tempted to read ahead. By holding onto the stack of documents, the presenter remains the focus, and suspense is created. The presenter can open the document to the page that they would like the audience to look at and create what is called triangulation between themselves, the document, and the audience. When it will have the biggest impact, the presenter can distribute the documents around the table and then direct everyone’s attention to a specific page. 

Have a Conversation 

Putting your attention on understanding your content and how it applies to the audience, rather than memorising the words exactly, will free you to focus on connecting with the audience, instead of trying to ‘get it right’. “A good presentation is merely a series of mistakes well recovered from.” 

Pausing 

Pausing sends a message to your own body that you are calm, gives the audience time to digest what you are saying, adds punctuation to your speaking, makes you look more confident, gives you time to think and breathe, and adds weight to the content. 

Plant Your Feet 

Avoid walking and talking. When making key points, imagine grounding your feet, like the roots of a tree, so that you can steady your thoughts. Once you’ve made your point, you can then move to the next area during a pause, and then resume speaking. 

Adopt the 10 20 30 Rule: Max. 10 slides, Max. 20 minutes, Min. 30 font size. 

Remote Presentations 

Lights, Camera, Action – We’re all TV producers now. Remote presentations bring specific challenges and considerations. Make sure your set-up works for you. 

Camera: The camera should be at eye level – usually this means raising it higher than you might expect. Make sure you fill the screen with a tiny gap between the top of your head and the top of the screen. Sit back far enough so that your hand gestures can be seen. 

Lights: Even lighting helps your facial expressions be effective. Use a ring light if possible, or even natural light. The background should also be well lit – but not so bright that your face is in silhouette. 

Action: Look directly into the camera (to make eye contact). This is especially important at the start, the end, and during key messages. 

Speaker Notes: Place tiny post-its with key messages around the screen (remember not to cover your camera!). 

Engagement: Challenge the status quo and encourage engagement by having attendees turn their cameras on. Grant entry to each remote attendee as they join, rather than keeping them all in the waiting room and granting entry to all at once. This way you can say to the first attendee “I would prefer your camera on”. Get agreement from the everyone at the start: “Can we all agree to have our cameras on, so that it is possible to get the most out of this live experience?” Establish a feedback loop early on by asking where they are dialing in from and look for opportunities to build rapport by commenting about things you can notice in their personal tiles. Direct the audience’s focus by navigating the view between you full screen, the group, and the slides. Refer to the participants by name throughout. 

Handling Questions 

Our fight or flight response can kick in when we are answering questions. When we feel the pressure of being put on the spot, we might go into defensive mode and start justifying our responses or lose confidence if we assume that our expertise is in question. Remember that no one knows everything and that a question or comment is not necessarily a judgement, but more likely a demonstration of interest. 

When a question arises: 

· avoid stepping onto the back foot 

· step into questions 

· pause and breathe before speaking, so that the answer is considered 

If you don’t know the answer: 

· confidently say “I don’t know” 

· ask an expert in the audience 

· say that you will come back to them with the answer 

· start with “what I can tell you is…” 

Rather than clinging on to the need to be right and justify with language like “yes, but”, opt for “yes, and”. ‘Yes’, acknowledges their statement, “and” is an alternative opinion. 

Act as Host 

Although a question is for you the presenter, the answer is for the whole audience. Avoid getting locked into answering a single audience member, by spreading your eye contact to others in the room. 

Use the PREP Structure to Answer a Question with Brevity and Clarity 

PREP is a great structure for giving an opinion or clear logic for a point of view. 

Point: State your point 

Reason: Why you think it 

Example: Give your evidence 

Point: Repeat your point to help you finish and to remind your audience 

Continuous Practice 

The only way to create new habits is through awareness and practice. We recommend that you use your new skills AS SOON AS YOU CAN. 

Please remember that we are resources for you now. If you have any questions at all or want to speak further about anything, then please do get in touch. 

Best wishes, 

James, Ottillie & Tina